To Strip or To Scorpio

I remember being in third grade and wanting to be a stripper. As we sat at our desks grouped in fours, we went around the table during our scheduled free time, and I,at the tender age of almost eight, I pursued The Wow Factor. As I waited for the others to finish relating what I found to be ordinary careers, “Doctor", “Lawyer", “Engineer", I remember being nervous with excitement waiting to drop the bomb that I wanted to strip or do pornography. Unbeknownst to my crush, who sat adjacent from me, I knew that boys liked “sexy girls”. Although, what does a nine year boy or an eight year old girl know about sexy? Shit, I wanted to perform the routine dressed like Princess Jasmine. Honestly, I just wanted Kimani to like me. Hey, it worked though. He was my boyfriend on and off, straight through fifth grade.

The same technique of exceeding expectations of the adult Male psychology didn’t work so well with Victor though. That same academic year, I stole my mother's blue gemmed costume ring, after Victor said he wanted to marry me. But, once I was sat down for what turned out to be a party of four third grade harem meeting, I realized, Victor could get the fuck out my face. Needless to say, my mom got her ring back; after lying and saying that I never took it in the first place. I should have told Victor about my Princess Jasmine outfit.

Twenty years later, I've learned that the happenings of my third grade love life has been a constant motif, until now. After learning that telling a particular man of interest that I was willing to strip for him, especially in exotically erotic costumes, for the sake of impressing him with The Wow Factor, is even more ordinary than being a doctor and even less sexier than being an engineer, I've decided that being His Scorpio was more impactful. Every man that I've been with since losing my virginity after high school, can not forget Lauren Ashley, even if they lied and said that they have. I've progressively deduced from my experiences with each one that if I were to impress and gain this fairytale reward of a man's love, honor and respect of being sacred in his eyes, I had to reveal.

Not my body, though, that is easy and attained by the most ordinary. But with my mind, wired for the hidden. The hidden information and sanctity of that which is esoteric. While women seek for the one that is to lead them, she must be the one who educates and directs with the gifts that are only exposed to her gender. We as women hold both the egg and the womb; two thirds of the equation to create the most holy of creation, The Life of Man.

I never denied myself the ability to learn the magic of life by consorting with those whom I loved, each for their distinct, unique qualities; be them apparent or not. I love, I speak, I analyze, I appraise the worthiness of all that is, as Scorpio. I don't hold myself to commit to a lost investment. I stick to my Principle, indebted to cosmic placement. I am True, to my myself. I prefer to leave a lasting impression than to lose what men truly find to be impressive by submitting to a weaker man's desire for blind faith through his personal definition of submission. My chosen form of humility is in accepting the compliment from The Universe, or God, that not everybody or one deserves The Scorpion Loyalty of exceeding expectations. It is better to let them “Wow" than to say “You took it, Good.”

Holding on to my Princess Jasmine outfit, at twenty-eight, I'm so pleased that I never became a stripper.