Do You See It?

Do you see it? The means of carrying out this command or strong admonition is still elusive to me after twenty eight years of supposedly do so. For my record, and perhaps my record alone, I do so Black. I do so Woman. I do so Writer. I do so Lover. I do so Mother. I do so Lauren. But for the , life, of me I can't seem to grasp what it is I'm supposed to feel while doing so. Do I do so Happy? Do I do so Depressed? Do I do so Enraged? Do I do so Lost? Do I do so Found? Am I supposed to find contentment?  Do I do so Complacent? Am I supposed to continuously redefine its meaning and endlessly search for the newly placed target? Do I do so Overachieving or even, Ungrateful? Do you see it? I was once told to visualize, obsess and watch it unfold. But do I see it? Is it what I was trained to believe it is as portrayed by those professing to have it. Do I do so Mimickingly? What am I supposed to feel?